Jennifer

I'm Gettin' Hitched

2005-09-13T17:02:00.000-07:00

Wow, three weeks ago I was excited that Branden Stone said he liked me! Oh how my life has changed in one month. I'll tell the story since some of Branden's friends want more details than guys give. For those of you who don't like mushy details, he asked, I said yes, the wedding is in December. All the rest with hearts read on...

We've known each other for a few years now during which time we've been friends. This past year we have been very close friends. I'd liked him from the beginning, but the last year as friends, my affection deepened very much. At the beginning of August, he moved to Lawrence, Kansas to start his PhD program without saying anything to me. My heart broke as I thought all hope of his ever returning my affection had been dashed. How God works in wondrous ways.

The 19th of August Branden and I drove to Colorado to meet up with the Johnson family and tag along on their vacation. Somewhere in the middle of Kansas, Branden put his arm around me and told me he cared and wanted to start a relationship. I thought life couldn't get better, I'd never been happier.

Two weeks apart, heart aching to see the man I've so long loved, and he came to visit, and, unbeknownst to me, look at rings. With the help of our dear friend Sarah (our resident diamond expert) Branden chose a diamond for me. I still had no idea. Labor Day weekend we visited friends and family telling them we were finally dating! Sunday we went to his parents’ house for dinner and some stargazing out back. That weekend he told me he loved me. I thought life couldn't get better, I'd never been happier.

Last week I told him I wanted a fancy dinner at my house (broke-college-student-style). The stipulation: he had to bring the wine and show up decked out. I made shrimp pasta, his favorite salad, and had the house lit with candles, even candles outside leading up my back steps. Between the food, the candles, and my black dress I thought he wouldn’t know what hit him. He came to the door very handsome in his suit, freshly shaved, bearing a dozen red roses in one hand and a bottle of red wine in the other. He was a little disappointed that I hardly looked at the roses at first. Whoever said stop and smell the roses never had such a great man holding them. We had a lovely diner, good food, good wine and the one we love in view across the table. I thought life couldn't get better, I'd never been happier.

After dinner Branden said he wanted to sing me a song. I sat on the chair while he sang to me from the couch. All the while he sang one of my favorite songs (with a few personal touches to the chorus) I thought to myself "what a perfect time to propose... but this is Branden... he says he will take the relationship slow... too much school left to go rushing into things...so I'm sure he's just being sweet and proposing is the last thing on his mind... just enjoy the moment and let him worry about the details of if and when..." I cried a bit at the song.

Then he stood in the middle of my living room to hug me. In the candle light he began telling me how he loved me and several other sweet things I really don't remember. As he spoke to me I noticed his right hand reach into his pocket. I thought to myself "anyone else would be reaching for a ring right now... but this is Branden... we've talked about marriage and he says it's a long way off... don't get your hopes up... just enjoy the moment and let him worry about if and when... he probably just has an itch or something...."

Next thing I knew, he was on one knee, then he spoke those words I'll always remember "Will you marry me?" The song, the sweet words, he really was getting ready to ask me the Question, he was asking me now! All I could do was ask "Are you serious?" about a million times, in a loud high pitched voice I don't believe I've ever heard out of my mouth. I was afraid I'd stop breathing! Branden stayed right there, on his knee, holding my hand in his and holding up to me a ring. I hit his shoulder and told him he better not be kidding me. He finally had to ask "so is that a yes or a no?" Oops... "YES!!!!" I forgot to answer his question. That's alright, I had waited years to hear him ask, he could wait a few frantic moments for my reply. All I could utter for several moments was "yes" and "I can't believe it". I really couldn't.

When I had calmed down a bit (I'm still not all that calm), he told me all about his crafty lies of the past couple of weeks. He confessed his ring shopping escapades I was unaware of, how he had really skipped class that day to come here early enough to pick up the ring and ask my parents for their blessing, and how he has wanted to marry me for at least three weeks and only said those things about wanting to wait a long time to throw me off his trail. I hit him again when he said that. But, he accomplished his goal; I was completely taken by surprise. I've never been so happy. But I know life will get even better now that I know I'll be spending it with the man I love.

So that's the story. Our story. I’ve never been happier...

FINALLY

2005-08-24T15:34:00.000-07:00

So, for those of you who are not yet aware, Branden asked me to be his girl! (I said yes) Somewhere in Kansas on our way to Colorado he told me how he felt and made me the happiest girl in the mid-west! We were the adopted family members on the Johnson's vacation to Colorado Springs. Here are some pics from our time there...

Branden and me at the Royal Gorge

2005-08-24T15:33:00.000-07:00

Branden and me at the Royal Gorge
Originally uploaded by jenjoshank.

Here we are on the edge of some cliffs overlooking the Royal Gorge in Colorado...

Ben, Branden, and me

2005-08-24T15:31:00.000-07:00

Ben, Branden, and me
Originally uploaded by jenjoshank.

It's hard work holding up bolders like this... good thing I had guys to help...Garden of the Gods is a beautiful place to visit.

Nuts or Chips

2005-08-15T13:38:00.000-07:00

I saw a squirrell a while back on campus perched on the edge of a trash can eating a potato chip. I wondered at how this little fella could sit there with beautiful green grass all around and trees everywhere offering up all their nutty goodness for his taking and still choose a pitched potato chip. This set me to pondering how often I am satisfied with easy salty junk rather than setting my sights on those things most deserved of my energy.

One area in which I see my squirly selection is in that of worship. I recently attended a Psalms only church. What is it that made my soul sing that Sunday morning? It couldn't have been the music because it was all acapella. I doubt it was my mood because I was very tired and in a strange place. Perhaps it had something to do with what we sang: the Word of the Lord.

I've thought a lot about our contemporary worship and all these "Christian" songs that flood the radio waves and occassionally leak into a church worship service. Sure they're "heart felt" and the seed of good intentions, but most of them fall short of the glord due our Father. Most leave me wondering who it is I most adore: God, or myself for praising Him. But that's another blog that would be too critical and bitter for to be any good. There are several good songs that manage to touch even my porcupine heart and some of which I have heard once or twice on Chrisitan radio. Few things bring me more joy than sitting around with my friends and singing old hymns with a guitar. But I also enjoy singing Dylan with my friends, and that's hardly something for communal worship!

But, lest we be guilty of squirly reasoning, how should we determine what ought to be part of a worship service? Hmm...well, I soupose we should look for what is best rather than what is easiest and most appleaing to our shortsighted tastebuds. We want to worship our Creator. What better way to worship the King than by singing back to Him His own Words? In singing the Psalms we confes them good and worthy of repeating because they are God's. God is glorified when we accept what He has given without trying to fix it up. We are also encouraged at hearing God's word. Singing is a great way to hide words in our hearts so that we may keep our way pure. Of course, beautiful hymns written reflect the creativity we have as God's image barers and can glorify Him in that way. I guess I'm not entirely convinced of Psalms only as the modum operandi. I do think singing Psalms should be the rule not the special occassion.

It seems to me that many of the songs we sing have a lot to do with "moving" us. So, to this end many are written. A common method is to repeat things. They're also easier to learn that way because heaven forbid we work hard at learning something good for our souls. The music videos have a lot to do with moving us. There honestly seems to be no other motivation behind putting sweet pictures of fuzzy ducks or ghastly pictures of a man with a bleeding brow than to stirr emotions. Poor blind man who will never have his heart strings tugged. (And while I'm here, what makes it ok for us Baptists to have images of crosses all over a music video in worship but not have any types of "icons" around the building. Virtual must be more "spiritual").

Worship should be moving but not because of some manufactured response brought about by crafty artists. Singing the Psalms certainly moved my soul. Without catchy chorus lines, fancy music, or eye dazzling movies. Just the Word of God speaking out as it has done for minneni. The point of my ramblings here is that my heart cries "Less chips, more meat!" My heart longs to praise my Father!

Consider Calvin's words. Not exactly about worship but the same idea applies:

For, since we are all naturally prone to hypocrisy, any empty semblance of righteousness is quite enough to satisfy us instead of righteousness itself. And since nothing appears within us or around us that is not tainted with very great impurity, so long as we keep our mind within the confines of human pollution, anything which is in some small degree less defiled delights us as if it were most pure just as an eye, to which nothing but black had been previously presented, deems an object of a whitish, or even of a brownish hue, to be perfectly white. Nay, the bodily sense may furnish a still stronger illustration of the extent to which we are deluded in estimating the powers of the mind. If, at mid-day, we either look down to the ground, or on the surrounding objects which lie open to our view, we think ourselves endued with a very strong and piercing eyesight; but when we look up to the sun, and gaze at it unveiled, the sight which did excellently well for the earth is instantly so dazzled and confounded by the refulgence, as to oblige us to confess that our acuteness in discerning terrestrial objects is mere dimness when applied to the sun. Thus too, it happens in estimating our spiritual qualities. So long as we do not look beyond the earth, we are quite pleased with our own righteousness, wisdom, and virtue; we address ourselves in the most flattering terms, and seem only less than demigods. But should we once begin to raise our thoughts to God, and reflect what kind of Being he is, and how absolute the perfection of that righteousness, and wisdom, and virtue, to which, as a standard, we are bound to be conformed, what formerly delighted us by its false show of righteousness will become polluted with the greatest iniquity; what strangely imposed upon us under the name of wisdom will disgust by its extreme folly; and what presented the appearance of virtuous energy will be condemned as the most miserable impotence. So far are those qualities in us, which seem most perfect, from corresponding to the divine purity.

Hmmm????

2005-07-26T16:39:00.000-07:00

So, I've been thinking lately (dangerous, I know) and I'm wondering about this Covenant, New Covenant issue. Does anyone know when we Baptists split off from the majority of the Christian world and stopped viewing our children as part of the covenant? I've been reading Calvin (thanks Ben and Branden, and it's got me thinking. So, if anyone can tell me why the Anabaptists became what we are, or at least point me in the direction of some good reading, that would be great. This is just something I've never had to think about much before and now that I've come across it in my reading, it's going to bother me until I get it straight (somewhat) in my head.

More to come

2005-07-26T16:33:00.000-07:00

I'm working on posting more pics from Spain. I'll have more next month when I get more free web space with flickr!

Seashell Church

2005-07-26T16:29:00.000-07:00

DSC00681
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

This church was in the northern coastal region of Spain, Galicia. The entire building is covered with seashells about the size of my hand.

Bull fight

2005-07-26T16:27:00.000-07:00

DSC01221
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

Here it is. This type of bull fight was different because the fighters were on horses. The horses were the most impressive of any aspect of the fight. The horses were trained to run sideways to get the bull closer to the fighter and make the chase more interesting. I saw a couple of horses get gored in their thighs but nothing too bad. The fighting was impressive and each bull lasted about 10-15 minutes. I wasn't sure how to feel about it. The fighters and horses were impressive and those huge bulls were too. I enjoyed it for the most part. Some of the fighters put on a good show by being gutsier (stupid) than I would ever dream. The only part I really didn't like was when they put the final sword in the bull's neck to kill him. You could hear it squish from the top row where we were sitting. I'm not sure I would pay to go see one again but I can say I've seen a bull fight in Spain.

Bull Fight

2005-07-26T16:22:00.000-07:00

DSC01196
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

Here I am getting ready to go in and watch a Spanish bull fight. Click on the pic to turn it right-side-up!

Roman Aquaduct

2005-07-26T16:21:00.000-07:00

DSC01187
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

This one's for you Trevor. I thought it was funny that the American Society of Civil Engineers commemorated the Roman Aquaduct. Completed in the first century!

Roman Aquaduct

2005-07-26T16:17:00.000-07:00

DSC01184
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

This is a Roman Aquaduct still found in Segovia. It's huge! Click on the pic to turn it right-side-up!

me at Alcazar

2005-07-26T16:12:00.000-07:00

me at Alcazar
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

Click on the pic to turn it right-side-up!

Castle Alcazar

2005-07-26T16:11:00.000-07:00

Castle Alcazar
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

Alcazar is the castle in the city of Segovia.

Me at Alcazar

2005-07-26T16:01:00.000-07:00

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Originally uploaded by Jennifer Jo.

I let down my hair but no prince came!

Towers of Alcazar

2005-07-26T16:00:00.000-07:00

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Originally uploaded by Jennifer Jo.

View from on top of the Castle of Alcazar.

royal palace in Madrid

2005-07-26T15:57:00.000-07:00

royal palace in Madrid
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

The Royal Palace in Madrid. Home of the kings. Well, today they live in another palace outside the city (I don't blame them), but this palace was still very impressive.

Us On the Boat

2005-06-30T18:34:00.000-07:00

Us On the Boat
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

Me and the girls hanging out on the boat. It was way too windy to stay outside. We went in where there was no wind and lots of food.

Boat Dock in Galicia

2005-06-30T18:33:00.000-07:00

Boat Dock in Galicia
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

We went to the coast up north in Galicia. This is the dock we went out on. They took us on a nice boat, showed us where the raise all sorts of sea food and then fed us fresh muscles and white wine. It was alright but nothing I will bother learning how to prepare.

Main Altar en El Escorial

2005-06-30T18:32:00.000-07:00

Main Altar en El Escorial
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

Main Altar in the Escorial. This is a huge palace built to also serve as a burrial place for Spanish Royalty. The building lay out is that of a grill to remember a saint (whose name I forgot) who was marytered by Rome by being burnt on a grill. His picure is in the center square of art behind the altar. There are pictures of his maryterdome as well as symbols of grills all over the palace.

Library in El Escorial

2005-06-30T18:29:00.000-07:00

Library in El Escorial
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

This is the library found in the Escorial. According to the guide, the globe in the picture was used by Colobus in his preparation for his voyage. Outside the library is a sign of excommunication for anyone who removes a book from the library. No need for metal tags and alarms. This was pretty much one of the coolest places we visited.

Gregorian Chants

2005-06-30T18:26:00.000-07:00

Gregorian Chants
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

Book of Gregorian Chants from the 13th Century in the library in the Escorial.

Dome in the Valle

2005-06-30T18:24:00.000-07:00

Dome in the Valle
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

Dome above the main altar inside the Valley of the Fallen.

Valle de los Caidos

2005-06-29T17:58:00.000-07:00

Valle de los Caidos
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

The Valley of the Fallen is a monument built by Franco to remember those fallen in the Spanish Civil War. It is carved into the side of the mountain

Me in the Royal Palace in Madrid

2005-06-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

Me in the Royal Palace in Madrid
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

We toured the Royal Palace in Madrid. This gave me a whole new appreciation for the royalty immagry in the Bible, we are children of the King and He prepares us a table in His presence. As impressive as this place was, it can't compare, and I can't wait.

My Spanish Host Family

2005-06-29T12:20:00.000-07:00

My Spanish Host Family
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

This is my host family for my month in Spain. Mom Ana, roomate Dana, and dad Jose Luis. Very hospitable and fun people.

Cathederal Santiago de Compostela

2005-06-29T12:14:00.000-07:00

Cathederal Santiago de Compostela
Originally uploaded by Jennifer's Pics.

Life in full circle

2005-03-14T13:22:00.000-08:00

Ours is a good God. Last week tried me in many ways, but among some hard trials, God interposed immense joys.

Monday, puritans were the theme of history class. I did my best to correct lies and defend our outdated Calvinist Puritan beliefs. Dead people who think they're brilliant are nearly impossible to argue with. I left class with my head hung feeling defeated. I know God needs no defense but I can't bear clay pots to ridicule their Maker, my Father. Pastor's sermon about praying real like David resonated in my head as I implored our Father to silence the dead liars. Shut them up by whatever means He wants but to either silence them or cause their lips to praise Him. Branden told me of a quote from Lewis: when a dog sees his master under attack will he not bite? I bit with all my might, but left longing for stronger jaws and sharper teeth.

Friday I attended the funeral of a neighbor in whose life I never saw fruits convincing of faith. Pastor pointed out that we never know what may have happened in the final days or moments so I cannot assume there is no hope. His daughter is 11 and spent a good deal of time with me the year before she went to Kansas at Thanksgiving. She has remained there with her mother since November. She was incredibly close to her dad. The more time I spend with my neighbors and learn of their lives, the more thankful I am that God gave me Christian parents and put me in such a wonderful home. When I see children whose parents do drugs near them or talk with 5 year olds who know what sex is because it's a common event in her mom's living room, I am ashamed at my getting angry about my ridiculously early 8pm bed time. The funeral was weird as no one seemed to realize the gravity of death. They all smiled and talked with family and friends as if there were no casket a few feet away. Aware this could be the last time I saw the little girl and her younger brother, I gave them some "Christmas gifts." I figured since I don't know what to say the only lasting impression I could make was to give them God's Word. So they each received their own Bible. Therein I find my source of strength and reason for living and I pray they will too.

Mingled with sorrow and trials God gave great Joy! Both of my good girlfriends had their first babies. Parker Iain Pfleegor and Hanna Elizabeth Drees! God was kind to keep safe both moms and babies through some rough deliveries. They each told me their babies were "perfect." I rejoiced at these new lives but marveled more at God's mercy in bringing them into Christian homes. Then Saturday Trevor and Antonia got hitched! Weddings are joyful but always more so when it is the union of two of the King's children. Theirs is a marriage I know will strive to reflect correctly the picture of Christ and His Church. I found myself rejoicing Saturday in how God uses the families of believers to spread the truth. I think their wedding proved even more of a celebration in my own heart of the grace of God and his working together all things for the good of those who love Him.

Big Little Sister

2005-02-28T20:26:00.000-08:00

I just had a heart to heart with my big little sister. I'm the little big sister. We joked about that ever since she grew tall enough to look down at me. I think mom and dad forgot the genes to make me taller and gave the leftovers to her. After tonight's conversation, I'm pretty sure they forgot some grace and compassion genes for me and gave those leftovers to Jamie too.

Jamie and I have been roomies since last summer, and as will happen with roomies, tension arose. Those of you who know me (especially those who have lived with me) are aware that I can be a bit... umm... bull headed, direct, cold. Pastor jokingly calls me a pourcupine. Truth be told, he's not far from the mark.

Tension grew into a discussion tonight. As sisters, we love eachother very much but are about as different as two people from the same tree can be. So we approach life and situations in very different ways, almost sometimes from different worlds. Often, our only mutual groud is Scripture. While I tend to be black and white and very logical in my arguments, Jamie is equally as intelligent, yet abounding in grace and empathy. Truths are not grey for her but she is able to be compassionate. Tonight Jamie reminded me of the black and white truth of God's Word to "Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man." Colossians 4:6

May I not assume everyone else shares my taste for cold food. Let me not forget the seasoning salt so needed to make what I say digestable.

We're told to "clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." (Col 3:12) before we're told to "teach and admonish one another." (Col 3:16)

Day by Day

2005-02-24T14:49:00.000-08:00

A few late nights here on campus trying to accomplish several days worth of study have left me quite weary. A healthy combination of stress and sleep deprivation are good for driving a body into the arms of their Strength. It's amazing how dependent we are on such small things like sleep. How does closing my eyes and laying still give me energy and keep me sane (not to mention tolerable for those around me)? Such dependent creatures are we. God is good to grant times of rest and encouragement to the soul. Last night at church we sang "Day by Day." Such perfect timing could only be orchestrated by a sovereign and benevolent Father.

Day By Day
Day by day and with each passing moment, Strength I find to meet my trials here; Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment, I've no cause for worry or for fear. He whose heart is kind beyond all measure, Give unto each day what He deems best; Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure, Mingling toil with peace and rest.
Ev'ry day the Lord Himself is near me With a special mercy for each hour; All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me, He whose name is Counselor and Pow'r. The protection of His child and treasure, Is a charge that on Himself He laid; "As your days, your strength shall be in measure," This the pledge to me He made.
Help me then in ev'ry tribulation, So to trust Your promises, O Lord; That I lose not faith's sweet consolation, Offered me within Your holy Word. Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting, E'er to take, as from a Father's hand, One by one, the days, the moments fleeting, Till I reach the promised land.

Good rest and God bless to all. I'm going home to nap.

Ask Ye What Great Thing I Know

2005-02-16T14:20:00.000-08:00

This tune was in my head today and I had to look up the rest of the words.
For someone to ask me what great thing I know I must be living as if I know a great thing. I know a great God and Saviour. I just pray I live as though I do.

Ask ye what great thing I know,
That delights and stirs me so?
What the high reward I win?
Whose the Name I glory in?
Jesus Christ, the Crucified.

What is faiths foundation strong?
What awakes my heart to song?
He Who bore my sinful load,
Purchased for me peace with God,
Jesus Christ, the Crucified.

Who is He that makes me wise
To discern where duty lies?
Who is He that makes me true
Duty, when discerned to do,
Jesus Christ, the Crucified.

Who defeats my fiercest foes?
Who consoles my saddest woes?
Who revives my fainting heart,
Healing all its hidden smart?
Jesus Christ, the Crucified.

Who is life in life to me?
Who the death of death will be?
Who will place me on His right,
With the countless hosts of light?
Jesus Christ, the Crucified.

This is that great thing I know;
This delights and stirs me so;
Faith in Him Who died to save,
Him Who triumphed over the grave:
Jesus Christ, the Crucified.

I'm a Heretic!

2005-02-16T14:09:00.000-08:00

This History professor of mine is also teaching a course on the Spanish Inquisition. Sometime this semester I get to be put on trial for my "heretical" Protestant beliefs in a mock inquisition. That should be fun! So far it seems as though I'll be charged on grounds that I deny the infallibility of the Pope and I don't worship Marry. He also thinks my beliefs on predestination and my adherence to some of Calvin and Luther's teachings are points on which I can be judged a heretic!
In class today, a classmate and I were leading a discussion on readings about the Spanish Conquest of the New World. Our professor asked what we thought of the accounts of the Virgin Mary appearing to the Spanish soldiers. He said he didn't believe she appeared, I said, in front of the class, "I don't believe the Virgin Mary does anything special." That's when he called me a heretic (always in a joking way). I look foreword to the opportunity to confess what I believe to a captive audience sometime this semester. May the words of my mouth be pleasing unto God.

Odious Feminism

2005-02-10T14:40:00.000-08:00

I want to scream and yell and throw a fit in one of my classes. Instead I’ll vent here…

Why does society scream at me from every outlet to hate myself? I’m a woman, God created me that way, and I’m glad. Society says I should be proud of my womanhood yet, at the same time, instructs me in every way possible to reject that very womanhood. “Fight your way into every male dominated role in society to prove we are equal. Forget those natural mothering instincts and the fact that your body is designed to bear children!” Heaven forbid (although I doubt I’m supposed to mention heaven) I submit to anyone!

How repugnant is the philosophy: be a good woman by pretending to be a man.

An adoption of feminist nonsense is a rejection of the Truth of God’s Word. He created us in His image exactly as He intended. He also perfectly established our roles. Men lead, women follow. This does not mean we are of less value. Pastor once pointed out that if submission implied inequality, we could not believe in the Trinity. Neither gender would last more than a generation without the other.

Wretched feminism and her offspring turn my stomach. Feminism not only rejects God’s Word as the only infallible rule of practice but also feeds on “I worship.” Last semester a female classmate gave a speech urging for increased accessibility to birth control so that women could be as sexually active as they wished without any worry of being stuck at home with children. Large families are viewed as archaic and a good number of children is similar to a good score in golf, the fewer the better. Imagine the faces of my classmates when my speech told of the need for wives to stay home because of the importance of the family as an institution of God.

Before you men resound a loud “Amen,” remember feminism would be shown as the rubbish it is if men would be such good leaders women no longer desire to make their own way.

So, why I’m not a feminazi?

Because I believe in a Holy and Perfect God who created us exactly as He intended, with different roles in life in order to function as He deems best, in the world which He created and rules. A rejection of Biblical gender roles is not only damnable behavior but destructive to society, and I’m quite sick of it.

My first post

2005-02-07T20:48:00.000-08:00

This is my first post. I just did it!